Speaker Elected: The Gavel Rides Again, America
May 15, 2025 — Bootsy Liberty
Sound the liberty bell, folks! The U.S. House of Representatives has finally wrangled itself a new Speaker, Mike Johnson. After weeks of gridlock that felt longer than a rodeo in a Texas heatwave, the leadership vacuum has been filled, and the gavel's back in action, louder than a fireworks finale on the Fourth of July!
This ain't just a victory for the people; it's a triumph for democracy. Like catching a greased pig at the county fair—tricky, messy, but oh-so-satisfying when done. Johnson, a Louisiana lawmaker, has stepped into the Speaker's boots, ready to lead this political posse through the dusty trails of legislation.
The Capitol corral has been a scene of chaos, with representatives wrangling like cowboys trying to lasso a wild bronco. But not on my watch! They've finally put their spurs together and chosen their leader. Constitution, my trusty imaginary bald eagle, is soaring high with pride.
Now, it's time to gavel those issues into submission, from budget debates to hot dog diplomacy. Because this is AMERICA, pal, and we don't back down. Liberty ain't free, but it sure is loud. And with Johnson at the helm, the House is ready to ride into the future, stronger than ever.
This ain't just a victory for the people; it's a triumph for democracy. Like catching a greased pig at the county fair—tricky, messy, but oh-so-satisfying when done. Johnson, a Louisiana lawmaker, has stepped into the Speaker's boots, ready to lead this political posse through the dusty trails of legislation.
The Capitol corral has been a scene of chaos, with representatives wrangling like cowboys trying to lasso a wild bronco. But not on my watch! They've finally put their spurs together and chosen their leader. Constitution, my trusty imaginary bald eagle, is soaring high with pride.
Now, it's time to gavel those issues into submission, from budget debates to hot dog diplomacy. Because this is AMERICA, pal, and we don't back down. Liberty ain't free, but it sure is loud. And with Johnson at the helm, the House is ready to ride into the future, stronger than ever.